幸福婚姻秘訣：多對伴侶說“謝謝你”

Researchers say there's one simple way to fix your marriage; say 'thank you' to your partner.
研究人員指出，要想使婚姻關(guān)系變得穩(wěn)固，最簡單的一個方法就是對伴侶說“謝謝你”。

A new study has found gratitude and believing that your partner values you, directly influences how you behave in your marriage, as well as your levels of commitment.
最新研究表明，感恩的心情以及相信配偶對自己的珍視，會直接影響一個人在婚姻中的行為和對婚姻的忠誠度。

Scientists at Georgia University asked 468 married people questions about their finances, communication style and how grateful they felt towards their partner.
喬治亞州大學的科學家對468名已婚人士進行調(diào)查，了解他們的財務情況、與伴侶的溝通方式以及他們對伴侶是否懷有感恩之心。

They found that gratitude consistently predicts how happy someone will be in their marriage.
他們發(fā)現(xiàn)，感恩的心態(tài)會直接決定一個人在婚姻中的幸福程度。

'It goes to show the power of "thank you,"' said the study's lead author Allen Barton, a postdoctoral research associate at UGA's Center for Family Research.
該研究的發(fā)起者、佐治亞大學家庭研究中的一名博士后研究員艾倫?巴頓（Allen Barton）說，這點顯示出了“謝謝你”的力量他是。

'Even if a couple is experiencing distress and difficulty in other areas, gratitude in the relationship can help promote positive marital outcomes.'
“即便一對夫妻正在經(jīng)歷著拮據(jù)和其他方面的困難，感激之情也有助于促進夫妻關(guān)系朝積極的方向發(fā)展”。

The study also found that higher levels of saying 'thank you' protected men and women from the damage caused when arguing.
研究還發(fā)現(xiàn)，經(jīng)常表達謝意能避免夫妻因爭吵而損害彼此間的感情。

'Importantly, we found that when couples are engaging in a negative conflict pattern like demand/withdrawal, expressions of gratitude and appreciation can counteract or buffer the negative effects of this type of interaction on marital stability,' said Ted Futris, an associate professor at Georgia University.
喬治亞州大學副教授泰德?福翠絲（Ted Futris）表示：“重要的是我們發(fā)現(xiàn)當夫妻兩個處于像強勢和被動型搭配的消極沖突模式中時，感恩和欣賞的情感表達能夠消減或緩沖這種互動模式給婚姻穩(wěn)定帶來的負面影響。”

'This is the first study to document the protective effect that feeling appreciated by your spouse can have for marriages,' Barton said.
巴頓說：“這還是首個證明得到配偶的欣賞，對婚姻關(guān)系有保護作用的研究”。

'We think it is quite important as it highlights a practical way couples can help strengthen their marriage, particularly if they are not the most adept communicators in conflict.'
“我們認為，這十分重要，它為夫妻雙方指明了一種有助于鞏固其婚姻關(guān)系的實用方法，如果兩人在發(fā)生爭執(zhí)時都不善于交流就更是如此。”

Results from this study also back up earlier research on something known as demand/withdraw communication, as well as how money problems can damage marriage.
這項研究的結(jié)果也證明了此前有關(guān)強勢/被動型交流模式，以及金錢問題會破壞婚姻關(guān)系方面的研究。

'Demand/withdraw communication occurs when one partner tends to demand, nag or criticise, while the other responds by withdrawing or avoiding the confrontation,' Barton said.
巴頓說：“當夫妻一方有需要、開始嘮叨或吹毛求疵的時候，就會發(fā)生強勢/被動型交流模式，而另一方以消極被動方式回應，或者回避爭執(zhí)”。

'Although wife demand/husband withdraw interactions appear more commonly in couples, in the current study we found financial distress was associated with lower marital outcomes through its effects on increasing the total amount of both partners' demand/withdraw interactions.'
“雖然妻子強勢/被動搭配的互動模式在夫妻關(guān)系中更為常見，在目前的研究中 我們發(fā)現(xiàn)，財務上的拮據(jù)會導致欠佳的婚姻，因為財務問題會增加夫妻雙方強勢/被動模式的互動。”

He explained that when couples are stressed about making ends meet, they are more likely to be critical of each other, as well as defensive. Gratitude, however, can interrupt this cycle, he claims.
他解釋說，當夫妻為收支平衡所煩惱時，他們更可能會對彼此橫加指責，也會為自己進行辯護，但感恩可以中斷這種惡性循環(huán)。

This was measured in terms of the degree to which individuals felt appreciated by their spouse, valued by their spouse and acknowledged when they did something nice for their spouse.
這是根據(jù)某人做了些有助于配偶的事，而后感到自己受到配偶的欣賞、認可程度來衡量的。

'All couples have disagreements and argue,' Futris said. 'And, when couples are stressed, they are likely to have more arguments.
“所有夫妻都會出現(xiàn)分歧和爭吵，” 福翠絲說。當夫妻感到緊張時，很可能會發(fā)生更多爭吵。

'What distinguishes the marriages that last from those that don't is not how often they argue, but how they argue and how they treat each other on a daily basis.'
“持久和失敗婚姻的區(qū)別并非在于夫妻多久吵一次架，而是他們在日常生活中吵架和對待彼此的方式。”

Vocabulary

marital：婚姻的

buffer：緩沖

英文來源：每日郵報

譯者：李素燕--HBU

審校&編輯：丁一